Chicken Vindaloo with Bacon (Caucasian Mix)

This is Chicken Vindaloo

Widely regarded as the culinary equivalent of the Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster. Which is to say that no matter where you are in the universe, at any given Indian Restaurant it will be the spiciest thing on the menu, guaranteed.

I’ve adapted it here for my quite delicate Southeastern-American palette which is to say that I am a bona-fide white chick. I like Dill Pickles and White Claw. I'm on the fence with pumpkin spice, but anyhoo ... if you want to make it hotter, increase the amount of red pepper flakes (if you're serious about it) or Sriracha sauce (if you're just feelin' kicky).

This is a real simple dish. Basically, you are going to make a marinade. Then you are going to cut up some pieces of chicken and you are going to let them sit in said marinade. Then you are going to saute an onion and a bit of your hot-pepper of choice until that onion becomes suitably caramelized, then you're gonna dump the chicken and the marinade into that. Also some rice is involved, but that's pretty much the dealio.

What you’re going to need for the marinade

• 0.5 cup vinegar (white preferred)
• a whole truck-load of garlic (6 or so cloves, minced)
• .25 tablespoon red pepper flakes (this is the coarse spiciness adjuster)
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tbsp grated ginger (or you know, thereabouts, get gratin' yo!
• 1 tsp coriander
• 1 tsp tumeric
• 1 tsp mustard powder
• 0.5 tsp cumin
• 0.5 tsp cinnamon (ya rly)

procedure

1. like ... mix up dat marinade, chop up your chicken and put it in there
2. put 2 cups rice of your choice in the rice cooker with 3 chicken bullion cubes dissolved in the water. Get it started
3. cut 2 or 3 strips of bacon into 1 to 2 inch slices.
   
   arrange them flat on the bottom of a Teflon pan or wok. place on lowest heat, covered
   
4. dice your yellow onion finely, while the fat renders out of the bacon
5. dice some hot pepper of your choice I like about half of one "long green pepper" as sold at publix
6. once an acceptable ammout of the fat has rendered from the bacon, extract the bacon, and throw in the diced onions and peppers
7. wait for that stuff to carmelize. it might take a while and that's better. if you're impatient crank the heat gingerly to get it there, then dump in the chicken and marinade
8. once the chicken is lookin pretty done, things should be lookin' kinda pasty in the pan. Mix together 1 cup of hot-ass water and 3 chicken bullion cubes, then dump it in there
9. dump the bacon back in
10. add 1-2 tbsp Sriracha sauce (this is the fine spiciness adjuster)
11. simmer on low until the rice is done

you're welcome, because this recipe is the bomb-diggity